The devil...errr Katie...made me do it!

1. Reply with your name and I will write something random about you.
2. I will then tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I will pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I will tell you my first memory of you.
6. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll then ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. Put this in your journal, or else!

First Round...

The first round of testing has been complete...they drew TEN vials of blood. TEN! They tested for blood type, RH +/-, antibodies, anemia, HCG levels, etc etc etc. And the lab tech was nothing to write home about. Oh well. The worst of it's over. They also did a PPD (which was negative). The next round of blood work will have to do with gestational diabeties, which they tell me I have to be tested for since my Dad has diabetes...that won't be until much later...earlier if I show symptoms.

The morning of Grandma's funeral was the worst day by far...between nerves, the crappy breakfast, my hormones and my genetics, I was sicker than all hell...I was supposed to do a reading and I couldn't do it. I felt horrible...not only physically, but emotionally because I feel like I let my mom down. :-( And I know she'd beat me if she read this, but it's true.

One of the guys tried to bribe me to work a shift with alcohol :-P It was funny to see his face when I told him why that wouldn't work...Though I think I'll work it anyway...we'll see. It depends on what time I can get back from the wedding. I would have to be back here at 8am...that means leaving PA at 5:00am. Maybe I'll work 1/2 of it. We'll see.

It's been a while...

...since I've posted. My grandmother died last night. And while it's a blessing because she's not suffering anymore, I can't help but be sad as I remember snippets from the past...like the silly outfit with the purple high heels she let me wear in PUBLIC with her when I went out to dinner with her and Uncle Walter...I was young...I had leggings, an oversized sweater, the white ankle socks and PURPLE high heels on :-P Then there was the time she came up to visit when we were on Clauverwie and she left early because Joey and I couldn't get along... I remember her being there for Easter one year (may have been the same year even...) and I have a picture of all of us on the front steps in our Easter garb... I remember the way she smelled...in fact remembering it when I discovered they had bought her some to wear at the nursing home...I remember so much more...but they're all little pieces that I can't seem to put into full blown memories. I have a pin of hers that she gave me...before the Alzheimers really kicked in. It's a gold pin with a cursive "K" on it...

In baby land things are going well...Thankfully the people at work now know about it and therefore I can wear people clothes that don't cut into me. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm further along than just 6 weeks...it would explain quite a bit. I suppose I'll find out Monday morning. Scott's mom brought down a bunch of baby stuff...there are some reallllly cute sweaters that are absolutely ADORABLE!

No Symptoms?

OK...1 week ago I had symptoms galore...now? Just about nothing. Sure, I'm hungry...yeah, I'm tired (OK...exhausted)...and I certainly have to go to the bathroom all the time, but other than that? Nothing. It makes me a little nervous. It makes me wonder whether or not everything is OK... So with that question in mind, I turned to http://www.babycenter.com. Turns out that there are a bunch of other women with the same concerns. It doesn't mean that anything's wrong...it just means you're lucky. :-) It also turns out that just changing the due date from 3/21/06 to 3/19/06 "sets me back" a week. So where we thought I was actually in the end of the 6th week, it's just the beginning. Oh well...we'll get there soon enough.

Confirmed

Today was my appointment with my family practitioner - they confirmed the pregnancy. :-) I'm more nervous than ever, but I'm starting to do better with it. The cramps from my uterus stretching are doing much better...though the exhaustion is starting to set in. And I can't seem to ride in a car for too long without getting uncomfortable. The worst part seems to be between 3:30 am and 5:30 am. That's when I get my morning nausea. Thankfully no puking, but even just the nausea sucks.

My dad gave me a rose today when we were leaving in honor of the pregnancy :-) I took a picture of it so that I can scrapbook it.

I'm tired, so this entry's reallllly short. I'm headed to either the couch or the bed. I haven't decided which yet.

Week 6 Details - ALREADY?

I found this in my email this morning...I can't believe it would be week 6 already...

The first heartbeats have begun! The heart is dividing into chambers and will soon find a more regular rhythm. The embryo itself is about a quarter of an inch long and looks more like a tadpole than a human. It undergoes a tremendous growth spurt this week. Major organs, including the kidneys and liver, begin to grow. The neural tube, which connects the brain and spinal cord, will close this week. The embryo's upper and lower limb buds begin to sprout forming your baby's arms and legs. The intestines are developing and the appendix is in place. Facial features are already forming. Nostrils are becoming distinct, and the earliest versions of the retinas of the eyes are forming. Your baby is smaller than a grain of rice, with a beating heart about the size of a poppy seed.

That is the image they send for reference...

Ugh

I went upstairs to be with the intentions of going to sleep at 2:00AM. That didn't happen. From 2 until about 5:30 I felt like I was going to lose anything/everything that I had eaten the day prior. The only thing that calmed me down was listening to my headphones (Martina McBride) and playing "Monopoly" on my cell phone. I finally fell asleep at about 5:30 and didn't get up until 1:30 this afternoon -and I'm still tired. I didn't want to get out of bed, but did so out of necessity. When we refilled the chambers in the water bed I think we put too much in. It's not hard as a rock...and considering my back is sore, I now can't tell what the source is! :-)

Tomorrow morning I go to the Dr....I'm calling him first thing and then getting the bloodwork done. I want to know before we go up to my parents house.

Week 5 Details

How your baby's growing: Deep in your uterus your embryo is growing at a furious pace. At this point he's about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. He's now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, mesoderm, and endoderm — that will later form his organs and tissues. The cells are forming for his major organs, including his kidneys and liver, and his neural tube is beginning to develop. This neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — develops in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel. His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue. The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job.

Wow.

Wow. Saturday, July 16 just a little after 12:30am, my life changed...in a good way though. This is when I took a pregnancy test to see if I could determine the reason for my missing period. (Though let me tell you I wasn't too upset she hadn't shown up yet!) I found my reason. Within SECONDS I had two lines indicating a positive result. I couldn't believe it...I still can't believe it.

I'm scared. Not only is this 9 months of weight gain, horomones, backaches, gas, vomiting, etc, but after that, it's however many hours of excruciating pain followed by being responsible for someone for *18* years. I'm nervous. Is it gonna hurt? Will the pregnancy be uneventful? Will the baby be OK? Will I even go to term? Is Scott going to be as excited as he is when we talk about it in the hypothetical? How will he take it? There's so much to consider....besides the obvious, I can't get my shoulder fixed for awhile...or my teeth...and I know that aspect is vanity, but it's a big issue for me.

The other question is this...what if it's a false positive? What if I'm getting excited and getting my hopes built up just to have them dashed on Monday morning? Sure, the signs are there...but are they there because I want them to be or because they just are? Yeah...I'm doubting myself...it's what I do best...why change now?

How will the people at work take it? I value their opinion...greatly. Will they figure it out or will I have to tell them...Ray and Doug can be pretty intuitive when they want to be...these are the guys that wanted me to schedule a pregnancy test for August 7th because they "had a feeling" and wanted to bust on me...that was a month ago...and guess what? They were right - just a month early. Imagine how much fun I'm going to have with that.

Will I be able to afford this? Will I be a good mom? A mommy? Or will I be "Mother"? I have some serious doubts and it's making me all the more emotional...and things are just not where they should be when someone starts a family. We're still living with his mother. She keeps telling us about the baby items in the attic - that's not for me. I want my own stuff...I want to do things my own way.

Oi. All I know is that I'm exhausted...and I'm going to see if Katie's around but then I'm going to bed...sleeeeeeep. :-)